Just a few humorous observations made by the well informed Mark-III Crowd…


Worrying about how far down the lot to park your Mark-III at WalMart

The cyclonic-like air turbulence at in the cockpit high-speeds

It's tendency to fly above 165 MPH even though you know it should do 200 or more!

It's insatiable tendency to absorb about as much HP as you can afford to put into it.

The constant attention makes it easy to find your Mark-III if you've forgotten where you parked it.

The instinctive need to be in, on, around or driving your Mark-III all the time- an addictive compulsion!

On sunny days when you'd normally be doing yard work, repairing your other vehicles, or working around the house, you are consumed with the desire to drive your Mark-III somewhere for absolutely no reason at all.

You feel guilty when you are driving your Mark-III when you should be at work.

You feel guilty when you are driving your Mark-III and you should be at home.

You feel guilty when you are doing what you should be doing, but you are thinking you'd rather be driving your Mark-III anyway, and forget what you should have been doing.

The need to buy gas at night as to not have to deal with a crowd around your Mark-III.

When driving your Mark-III to an autoparts store, budget an extra half hour to stand around in the parking lot talking to other customers and the store employees.


Getting hit with a small stone is the emotional equivalent to being hit by a cruise missile.

People you love and respect, but can't walk and chew gum at the same time want to drive your Mark-III.

Everybody thinks you have more money than you do and expect you to share it.

Briefcase slides off passenger seat during hard breaking which, if driven properly, is nearly every stop.

Coffee spills in your lap under hard acceleration which, if driven properly, is nearly every start.

You become a major contributor to the depletion of our world's supplies of fossil fuels.

Getting a sunburn on top of a 80+ windburn really hurts.

It's a chic magnet… and you're married.

Negatives? You'll have lots of "negatives." They are included with all of the photos you will taken of the Mark-III when you pick them up at the photo-mat.

They only have 2 seats and you have 2 sons who are very excited about helping to polish up the car and get it on the road. Luckily you have only one wife!

Cruising the highways at 65mph and having someone pull alongside of you oogling, giving you the thumbs up and not realizing that he is holding up traffic AND swerving in and out of his lane towards your beautiful your Mark-III.

Children who like to jump on your hot sidepipes and melt their sneakers all over the ceramic finish.

Having the police called by a neighbor complaining about your speed in the neighborhood (which seems to be much faster, due to the loudness of the pipes!), an officer showing up, walks right past you into the garage and asks if you could fire your Mark-III up!


Someone asking" Is it real?"

Telling the kids and parents with shorts on "Watch out those pipes are real Hot!"

Every time you go for an ice cream in your Mark-III… it's very hard to eat it all before it melts, because of all the questions you are answering about your Mark-III.

People who ask what year corvette it is.

Trying to decide whether to have your Mark-III painted Viking blue or Guardsman blue.

Having to spend endless hours just looking at your Mark-III when its raining.

Having to explain to the uninformed what those "quick jack thingies" are for, at the front and rear.

Getting a 4x5 inch "Snake Bite" from the side pipes getting out of the car


Negatives? What negatives? Anything that may start out seemingly as a negative quickly vanishes as you open the door and slip into your Mark-III.

To sum it all up - buy a Mark-III. The negatives are almost as fun as the positives!

The humor aside, you now own and drive unquestionably the single most unsafe car on the highway. This is in regards to all short wheel based, lightweight high horse-powered cars in general. Forget the power/weight ratio that can get you in huge trouble. You are now afforded one chance...and probably one chance only at a teenager with headphones running that stop light...or gramps dropping his teeth in his lap and rear ending you with his Continental...or worse yet...Suburban. Drive and respect it like you would a motorcycle...it offers about the same protection.